Friday, June 24, 2011

I've lived through my worst nightmare..

If you know me at all, you know that I have a totally irrational fear of snakes.  There I said it, its irrational.  But that doesn't mean I can convince myself to react any differently.

I once ran out of my office (and my shoes), down the stairs, outside, and to the next building before I was caught by a coworker, because someone had played a trick on me and put a dead baby snake on my desk.  That coworker walked around carrying the snake in his shirt pocket, with its head poking out all day in triumph.
(I then came into work the next morning with my desk covered in fake snakes.. 12 years later and some of those snakes are still lingering around the office somewhere..)

I refuse to go into herpeteriums at the zoo.

A snake jumped (yes, they can jump) in front of the lawn mower I was riding on last year and I stopped mowing.  Matt asked why I couldn't just mow over it and kill it, I did have 3 giant spinning blades that would probably take care of it, but I just drove the mower to the front door, got off the mower, and told Matt where I left off.  I was done.

I'm ready to move back to Alaska, I'd rather come face to face with a moose or bear than be near a snake.

(Just talking about this, I've pulled my feet up under me as I type.  I'm getting the heebeegeebees and don't want my feet on the floor.)

So Saturday morning we were getting ready for a long day of kiddo activities.  Andra came in my bathroom where I was getting ready and says quite bluntly "You NEED to come with me." 
(Andra is a little bit of a drama queen, and likes to drag me around for dramatic effect when tattling on her brother, but this time her attitude was very different.  This wasn't "I'm ratting Lane out for something.."  her tone said "DANGER!" and her skin color said "I MAY PUKE!" )
So instead of telling her to use her words and just TELL me what she was tattling on so I could keep getting dressed, I followed her. 
Down the hall into the kitchen, she stopped about 1/2 way into the kitchen and pointed towards the laundry room, refusing to go any further.
I (being the giant fradey-cat chicken I am) slowed and tip toed over towards the laundry room thinking there was a giant spider or tarantula in there...

I wish.

I ran back to Andra, grabbed her squarely by the shoulders and said "Let Oliver in the back door, take him and your brother to your room and lock the door." 
And I booked it back to our bathroom where Matt was in the shower. 
I barged in and said "The faster you finish this shower, the better.  There is man work to be done.  There is a snake in the laundry room!"

Then I grabbed my camera and came back to stalk it.  I didn't want it to come into the kitchen or hide under the washer or something.  I NEEDED to know where it was.

And because of him:

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